Lincoln Constable: The “Average Guy From Canada”
(I’m the guy who wants to lip sync battle Jimmy Fallon)
Well hello there, internet. You’re looking gorgeous today.
My name is Lincoln Constable, and I am just an average guy from Canada.
But wait, there’s more!
I’m an average guy from Canada who wants to go toe-to-toe with Jimmy Fallon in an epic lip syncing battle.
That’s right Jimmy, I’m challenging YOU!
Now, chances are, you’ve got questions – so I’m here to answer ‘em.
1. Who the heck is Lincoln Constable?
I’m an average guy from Canada. I live in a city called Calgary. There are a lot of cows around. I work at an airport, where my job is to keep planes from crashing into each other and stop them from running over my friends. I really like to lip sync.
I guess that’s all the important stuff.
2. Why do you want to battle Jimmy Fallon?
Ever since I first poked my head out of the womb, I was lip syncing. It was actually quite frightening to the doctors and they made me stay in a special container for awhile until they realized I was just mouthing the words to Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me”.
From that moment on, I’ve been training, waiting for the day a worthy opponent would reveal themselves. I believe that opponent is Jimmy Fallon, and while I admire him greatly, I must now destroy him. There can only be one.
But honestly, I love his show and would be honoured to take him on in a couple rounds of no-holds-barred lip syncing.
3. I’m from a newspaper/website/radio station/The Tonight Show and I want to help make all your wildest dreams come true. How can I contact you?
I can be reached for interviews, appearances, racy photoshoots and large bags of money at email@example.com
4. Why don’t you shave your beard?
Some people do not seem to appreciate the large, voluptuous neckbeard I have grown. What they do not seem to realize is that:
a) I live in Canada and it is very cold up here
b) My beard is the true source of my power
Without it, I’d be like Samson after he got a haircut.
5. Why did you wear a dirty shirt in the video?
Actually, the shirt is not dirty. It is a shirt with a picture of stars and wolves on it. Up here, the more wolves you can fit on a shirt, the more women will notice you and want to ride in your pickup truck. This shirt has three wolves – so basically, it’s irresistible. The white spec in the video is a star that the wolves are howling at majestically.
But if I am being honest, the shirt was not entirely clean. In Canada, the water does not unfreeze until July when we are able to do laundry for a brief window of approximately 72 hours before everything freezes right back up again.
I wore a flannel shirt in the first few takes, but the combination of beard and flannel was so intimidating to look at that I was worried Jimmy would be too scared to watch my video. That is also why I chose so many songs with high-pitched vocals.
6. Why do you have such bad taste in music?
Like my beard, some people don’t seem to like the songs I chose. I’m not sure what songs they wanted me to lip sync to instead – probably a lot of Maroon 5 or something.
I briefly debated keeping it Canadian with some Rush, Celine Dion, Nickleback and Justin Bieber, but I don’t think people would have liked that very much at all.
7. Have you heard from Jimmy yet?
I really hope to hear from him soon – maybe he’s biding his time, working on his eyebrow wiggles and training up for a big showdown.
8. How can I help?
Just enjoy the video! If it brightens your day, my job is already done. The video was always intended to make people smile; that it’s gotten so much attention is a surprise! You can also share it on Facebook, Twitter and maybe on one of those cool airplanes that fly the banners behind them.
Cheers, Jimmy – Hope to See You Soon!